i'm so sorry about you girlfriend's cat, first of all. horrific to hear about, poor thing.
as someone who's battled suicidal thoughts my whole life, it often comes down to me feeling worthless or like nothing will matter if/when i pull that trigger. feeling like nothing i say matters to anyone, like i'm nothing, the knowledge of how doomed we are....depressing emo shit like that. I'm in a dark space at the mo, lol. depression is a BITCH of a disease to have.
Ive never been depressed or suicidal, but as somebody who used to be part of the looksmax.org community (i never liked their hivemind behaviour, such as their recent tiktok behaviour where they've been targetting and blackmailing random people who are sharing looksmax.org tips or whatever which is simply unacceptable. i just liked their advice on improving looks and getting rated tbh) i always speculated depression/suicidal thoughts came down to two things:
How you look
How you brain works
Which both go under genes. So you could argue its all genes and partly environment which ill get into later
how you look is primarily dictated by genes (although gym, style, etc plays a role in how you look too, i think we can all agree who the clear winner is when comparing somebody who is effortlessly attractive to somebody who is only average because they had to work really hard to get to that point) and this obviously determines how you get treated by literally everybody - the opposite sex, friends, everybody - and this treatment determines your quality of life
On the other hand, how you feel and think is also determined by genes. For instance, i knew 2 guys in my course: one who was a 6'4 handsome rugby player. His family was rich and loving. He had a girlfriend and was popular. This guy would self-harm and attempted suicide on a few occasions. His living conditions and life were perfect. Regardless, he was still depressed. Other members of his family suffered from depression/suicidal thoughts too. Nothing could save this man from how he felt, he was trapped in his own mind
Similarly, a 6ft mma fighter, also handsome, had loving family, his own place where he lived with his girlfriend and he had friends who would support him. But he was bipolar and he was mentally unstable. His mum was bipolar. Once again, he was a victim of his own mind, hes genes, not his environment or his face
how other people treat you also plays a massive role in your quality of life and you could argue the way you look makes it easier to make friends and find partners.
some people have supportive environments (family and friends/social circles) that create a safe environment for you to express emotions. Some people dont have this at all, no family or a social-group you can open up to. I personally dont. If you do not have these environments where you can express yourself, you will have to bottle up your emotions and become robotic and callous. Personally, i feel id be punished for feeling any negative emotion: you cry, its awkward, you get laughed at or ignored. Youre angry, you either scare the fuck out your partner or you get tackled by a bigger guy. You show fear? you get humiliated. My girlfriend has a family who allows her to express herself as well as a social circle full of girls who validate eachother and allow them to express their feelings. She went clubbing and i picked her up after work: one of her friends sat outside the club until attention and validation was given by her friends who found her. Another had a mental breakdown so she got attention. My girlfriend cried over something irrelevant so i comforted her. So did her friends. So did 2 ugly random guys AS I WAS HUGGING HER who she promptly ignored because, as we've established, ugly is undesirable and she wanted my comfort, not theirs. Which is why they're single and went home alone while i brought her home. The fact of the matter is, she has many opportunities to get her emotional needs fulfilled and validation from others, i personally have none. No family, no social circle who i can express my emotions to, and i cant cry and have random guys comfort me the same way shes comforted, thats for sure lmfao. Just to clarify, im not complaining. Ive grown used to this and this is just my way of life and im content with my situation. Im merely pointing out the importance of having environments inorder to express your feelings to others. Im sure the vast majority of guys are in the exact same boat as me and lack environments where they can express themselves.
The problem arises when your girlfriend demands comfort from you and youre unable to provide it at an adequate level because you weren't raised in similar environments as her. I personally think im going above and beyond simply by hugging her, as id certainly never get that treatment if i cried for no apparent reason on the street. As a result, shes offended and confused you cant do something that shes grown accustomed to. Its second nature to her to be loving and caring to somebody who is sad. and something she takes for granted while on the contrary its a foreign concept to me... But thats a discussion for another day
In conclusion,
Mind > attractiveness imo
Somebody who is attractive with supportive environments may still suffer a low quality of life due to a self-sabotaging brain which cannot process the benefits of their looks or wonderful lives
An average man with a stable mind and one semi-supportive environment such as one family, will have an okay, leaning closer to bad, quality of life
Somebody who is attractive with a positive mind and supportive environments will live a very high quality of life
Thats my two cents